but I swear I never touched it officer

Stats and Permissions

Age: Around 16
Birthday: ?
Height: approximately the height of the Tokyo Tower 173 cm or 5'7" and still growing.
Weight: ? (Mostly in her bust.)
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Black
Medical Info: Ability to spout vast amounts of blood from her nose. Allergic to men; touch causes hives.
Abilities: SHE'S USELESS.
Notes for the Psychics: If you are female, she is thinking about you naked. Doing things to her. If you are male, she is thinking about some girl naked. Doing something to her. If you are neither or both, she's confused and trying to figure you out.
Can I shapeshift/bodyswap/spit at/step on/etc?: GO FOR IT. harukami at gmail if you need to work anything out.
Maim/Murder/Death: SURE. SHE'S USED TO IT and she'll get better.
Cooking: She can probably burn instant noodles to an edible level.


Character: Miyamae Kanako
Series: Maria Holic
Character Age: Second year of high school, so around 16.
Canon: Young and enthusiastic lesbian Miyamae Kanako transfers into an all girls' catholic high school because she has one very simple hope: Meet the woman of her dreams and have a fantastic romance! She thinks she's found this when she meets the beautiful, gentle Mariya -- but the woman of her dreams turns out to be the man of her nightmares; he's a boy in disguise. Not just any boy, either; Mariya is a sadist who teams up with his bitchy maidservant to force Kanako to keep his secret by threatening to frame her for rape! In order to avoid having her chances at romance dashed (as well as not wanting to get arrested for a criminal act she didn't commit), Kanako is forced not just to keep his secret but to room with him and endure his torments, which range from waking her up while wearing adorable nurse cosplay to ...well, pouring gasoline on her and threatening to set her on fire. Still, she can't say her school life's too hard as she meets and grows close to many of her cute (yet strangely bizarre) classmates.

Although Kanako is at heart a nice girl getting by in awkward circumstances, she's also extreeeemely high-energy, kind of perverted, and dumb as bricks. Kanako's not afraid of very much, coping fairly well with bizarre situations like the fact that God's a catgirl dorm mom, or that her handbag is carnivorous and has tentacles. She has a constant habit of monologuing -- both out loud and in her mind (occasionally both; Mariya chastizes her for getting what she thinks and what she says mixed up) -- at a frantic and breakneck pace as she tries to consider all possible elements of a situation or goes on long spiels of romantic and sexual fantasy. She tends to romanticise her life, casting her mental images of herself and the girls around her in classic shoujo and art noveau styles. She is quite literally allergic to men and wants to avoid the risk of the itchy, painful hives she gets if she so much as brushes up against one. Fortunately, her rampant and loud love of the ladies makes male touch unnecessary -- though she'd really like it if she could avoid getting nosebleeds whenever she talks to the pretty girls around her.

Sample App:

Dear Mother in Heaven, I have arrived at a place where my dreams might finally be able to come true!!

When I think of Summer Camp, I think of beautiful girls eating together in a mess hall and sleeping together in tents and cabins! Ahh... sleeping together... No sooner had Mariya let slip that he'd heard of this place -- and that it was above him to ever attend, of course -- than I'd packed my bag and was out of there! No more tough decisions about what I'll do over summer break; it's camping time for me! Here I am, ready for action and adventure! Especially action.

I grabbed a pamphlet at the front gate and I have to say, things are looking promising so far. It says that cabins are strictly divided by sex, no boys allowed in the girls' cabins and vice versa. That's definitely what I like to hear! No more having to change clothes while hiding, no more glimpses of an unsightly flat chest when preparing for bed, no more itchy painful hives when some asshole wakes me up in the morning! Instead I'll be surrounded by gorgeous girls at all hours of the day -- their lovely sleeping faces, cheerful morning conversation, meals at the mess hall, summer games in the afternoon, ahhhhh, it even says the showers are communal! Is this my chance to earn a harem ending to the dating sim of my life?! No, no, I can't think about it, what sort of impression will I make if I arrive covered in my own blood and with my nose still bleeding?!

Deep breath, deep breath... But, though the pamphlet's got my hopes up, all the girls I've seen from a distance so far have looked sort of... sick or dead. They'd better not all be like that. Dammit, even if people call me a pervert, I'm a delicate lily, not a necrophiliac! I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure lepers are nice people, and I'm sure plenty of them are beautiful in their own way, but a girl can only handle so much! -- Ohhhh, wait a second, wait a second, I get it! It's got to be some sort of themed costume thing ... or maybe they're shooting a zombie movie! Summer camps often feature in horror movies, right? That explains everything! Fight on, Freddy! Viva Jason Voorhees!!

I hope I find my way off the set soon, regardless... I'm starting to think I've gotten lost. But I can't let it get to me! Kanako, hold the image of the lovely ladies in your mind and keep on walking! This is the summer of my youth! Camp will bring the fulfillment of my hopes! I'll meet someone wonderful and we'll do so many incredible things together... We'll roast marshmallows over the campfire, sing camp songs in perfect harmony, wake up each other for breakfast, feed each other roasted sausage, stay up at night watching the stars, canoe together on the placid lake -- I'm not following the day's natural progression of hours but who cares?! Finally, after a day or two of these activities (going after her on the first night would be a little much, I guess), I'll climb into her bunk... we'll have to be quiet to avoid waking our roommates, but that's fine, it'll be perfect, beautiful... and my unfortunate chastity will finally come to an end! Oh, I'm almost there, I can see the campgrounds! I'll just finish reading this pamphlet to prepare myself for my grand debut, and ...


WHAT?! A no what rule?! You're lying! It's a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!